Michelle Kay’s

Waited all night for your message but there’s none.

Thinking that you’re too tired, should be understanding and forgive you.

Slept only couple of hours and checking my phone so I wouldn’t not miss your message and over slept,

However I wake up only to an empty mail box.

Finally gave up decide to send you one,

Just to get a reply to say you’re busy.

Not that I want to complain or making any fuss,

But when is it that you put me in your heart?

We had a heart to heart talk for a short while, before you had to make a move.

You admit that you’re a bad boyfriend, for not able to accompany me.

That is not really my point!

I want you to want to do things or hang out with me.

Make moves, do the saying and not me trying to set up anything.

It may seem I am trying too hard but yes of course! I have not seen you in ages!

You never call. You never would text me first if I have not text you. You would never ask me out if I never made my move.

Perhaps I am just dating myself and not you.

How dare you to ask me why am I still with you when you’re such a lousy man.

For all I know, I love and care for you.

Yes I could have dated other man, or do things to hurt you.

Sadly my heart doesn’t allow me to do so.

Am I being stupid? I could never do things to hurt you or betray you.

Being as silly as it seems, but this is how I am.

Being as frustrated as I could. Hopefully you would make some changes.

I don’t want to walk alone on this relationship. You asked for it then make me feel that I am wanted.

Please walk with me.. I needed you..

Please walk with me.. Cuz you said you wanted to.

Today been a relaxing day for me… Nothing much I did at least I manage to stop my mind from being overly work.

Was just reading just now. All of the sudden, I missed you…. It has been awhile since we last met (er… not quit I think, we just had lunch few days back). You have been so busy… well I understand.. I was myself very busy too.. Friends say I should balance out my life. I am trying to do the best I can. Somehow rather I felt I still missed out certain thing..

Laying on the bed just now.. Wished to hear your voice.. Pick up the phone and dialed your number.. Heard your sleepy voice. You said you dozzed off for a moment and you still very sleepy.. My heart felt ache knowing you did not have enough rest.. Then again, I wished I had spent more time with you….

As usual, you didn’t talk much. You said what you wanted to say and then sort of shut me off.. I should be happy because you said you’re free tomorrow to meet up, at the same time I didn’t felt as happy as I used to.. I realised that I miss.. I miss flirting with you..

Where are the good times we had together. The times we used to tease each other. The times that you would do things to annoy the hell out of me. The times I whack you for being a silly fool that you always be. Where is your love and care that you used to give. Where is the naughty side of you that I used to see. Where is the spark that you lid, that draws my attention for the love and promises that you made.

I miss… I truly miss…….

At last, I manage to grab some sleep.. Was overly exhausted through out the past two weeks. Today woke up only around noon after a late night yesterday. Got up and showered, soon headed off to Starbucks,Taipan to meet up with Nick to grab some drink. After that, I didn’t felt like going home yet, so I walked over to Coffee Bean and grab myself another cup of tea, nice piece of chocolate cake and read. One moment, I felt relax and in peace. Looking around seeing people walking in and out of the cafe. A couple just by the couch being cozy and sweet (wish it was someone else and I doing that hahahaha). I enjoyed my time sometime just being at one place, sitting down having a cup of tea or coffee and watch things going around. Often do that when I have nothing to do. Some may think I am nuts and asked why not I invite someone to join me for coffee instead of being alone. Well, sometimes I just need time for myself and being alone (yet I am complain I am lonely all the time LOL). During weekdays (especially), I worked my @$$ off, my brain never stop working, when come to days I am not working, I prefer not to stress my brain too much by thinking too much stuff. So NOT doing anything actually helps. With a cup of tea and a nice book, perhaps a good companian, I do enjoy my ‘quiet’ time

Cheers!

Days have been stressful for me. Pressure was unbearable to me. The more I been in there, the more I felt I want to get out..

As I was in the midst of cursing, my phone rang… I only realize that I got tons of miss calls!! Nick called and wished me, I was lost for a moment. Yes it is my birthday today. However I do not have the mood to celebrate. At the max of my stress level, I saw all the sms-es from my friends almost brought tears to my eyes. Even though someone had forgotten my birthday but I forgive him, because I don expect him to remember especially he is such a forgetful person (more worst and blurr than I am). Unexpectly we manage to meet up for a short while and grab a quick bite (at least he did, I didn’t had any appetite). That would consider one of my birthday present to me (though I wished I had something else.. LOL).

Would like to thank Nick and P.C (sorry gal! Didn’t mean to forget your birthday! I remember talking to Mee Mee about it!!!! I just cant remember what happen L Sorry!) for calling up, so sorry if I was rude or didn’t sound happy (I m very happy inside my heart but I cant show it out) as my boss was just 2 feet away from me having discussion, so not nice la talking on the phone…

Thanks to my wifes, Grace & Mee Mee, Lay Heong, Sophia and May for your wishes. Ming Foo and oh really didn’t expect a wish from Soo Aun!! Hehehe I will remember to go to your office to collect my present Soo Aun

Thanks to all my friends who I have not mentioned in here that had wished me, especially Kee Sen, Terraman, Curen, Tie Shu Lan Band, etc… Thanks to yustina too for the early present hehehehe I needed that and yeah to the company thanks for the early birthday cake.

Hugz Hugz Muaks Muaks Love you all!

Oh surprisingly, my bro actually bought me a book as present! After 21 years, he finally bought me a birthday present hehehehehe good boy!

And to the one that forgotten, YOU OWE ME ONE GOOD PRESIEEEE!

Don think of running away, you are already listed on my list hehehehehehehe

Was watching “Sepet” just now.. It made me cry.. Was holding hard not to drop tears but I couldn’t help it when Orked called Jason (duh!what a lousy name to put LOL) to tell him she loved her…

Things just kept going through my head (this has to blame you!) about this forbidden love. How many in our society can accept forbidden love, or should I say love from two different race or skin colour.

Why do we have to put these into count about love, why two different people from different race, religion, country, skin colour or…. I dono what else now, can’t get the blessing from their loved ones to be together?

Some people asked me why you can accept it, well honestly I do not see any problem with that. I have many friends, some straight, some not, some very super duper mix kau kau like rojak LOL, so if our father-mother generation or our great-great-great-gran parents can do that, why can’t we?

Or, two same gender if that matters.

Back in historical ages, we have Princess Hang Li Po and Sultan Mansor Shah (did I got it right???), we have those foreign soldiers living it Malaysia and marrying our people (wow…). Like what said in the film, it is not our modern age that have brought in the flow but is from the pass that drives the flow..

Think I am going to watch ‘Sepet’ again.. missed the beginning hehehe…. Hm….. sayang +P (I can’t say that at all LOL it gives me goose bums.. LOL)

Hm…… what’s running through your mind now?

hugz… Missing you dear…

It hit me just now that……..

Was that song written about us???????????????

I mean.. if not mistaken, one day when we were talking halfway all of the sudden you said you need to leave saying you want to write a song. Then hours later you told me you done writting two songs. Can’t remember what was the other song title, but one of it was ‘Help me’????

Just curious… Just wondering… Just thinking…

I am not too sure what to say about…. Been really hectic lifestyle lately.. Been working like mad.. things were haywire in office, again same situation lack of help or should I say too much of work and too little time for all… things been happening at home, life sucked max.. and.. well my issues with him.

Finally after nearly two months not seeing him and weeks of pissing off and hatred, we met up today to resolve issues. It didn’t go as bad as I thought it would be. At least we smile and talk, but I had to ask a lot of question, because I am the one who wants to know all the answer to everything. Finally he gave in, saying he was lost, because so many things were happening to him and lots of confusion going on and hack! He lead me to confusion too. At times I was quiet and I didn’t want to answer some questions that he asked, hence he said I wanted revenge on him. Maybe I wanted to do so, but my heart couldn’t do it at all. I am not that kind of person who can be evil to someone I love. I dono why, but it is just me. Maybe that’s why I cant hate someone for long.

So did we make it out? Perhaps.. the least I get to meet him. He said he is now back to normal, things are slowly back at track, so he isn’t that confuse anymore. He promised that he wouldn’t make me feel confuse anymore. I asked him to be honest with me and let out his feelings. If he is confuse, he should let me know and not ignored me. I am always here for him no matter what. He just need to let go and share it with me.

Do hope things are back on track now. If he is going to do silly things again, revenge is not the correct word to use but definitely war against him and all. I am an angel, but I could be a devil or worst Satan… People who know me well know that I can be very nice and can be super evil if I want to. If I am evil enough, by now I believe I have sent many to hell (LOL).

Aih.. at least now I can leave KL in peace and not think about him for awhile…. Hope the coming week in singapore wont be as bad as I could imagine, hey at least I can sleep kau kau hahahahahahaha

I shall try later.. To get him to give me something that I want. From there, all truth shall be revealed. We shall see by then, how true is he to me…

Maybe, just maybe, I should hire a detective (LOL bit too serious LOL).. I am sure someone is willing to take it for some money…

Anyhow, he will be performing this coming weekend, Sunday 10.30am at Taman Titiwangsa Main Stage, it will be their 1^st Single Debut. Do check them out, er… I cant give comment la.. I haven’t seen them live (+P). I have not heard the song too (he is being very secretive) so go hang out there la.. I heard got Paintball competition too and enjoy the Eyes On Malaysia ride!! Hm.. Saturday I think he is performing there too, so go check it out la but its with another side band.. (that’s why I am pissed as well, cuz he had time to be sessionist but not time for me!)

Shout out to all bands and Nazril hehe.. Sazzy… er… who else???????

You know I’d fight for you but how could I fight someone who isn’t even there

I’ve had the rest of you now I want the best of you I don’t care if that’s not fair

Cuz I want it all

Or nothing at all

There’s nowhere left to fall

When you reach the bottom it’s now or never

Is it all

Or are we just friends

Is this how it ends

With a simple telephone call

You leave me here with nothing at all

There are time it seems to me

I’m sharing you with memories

I feel it in my heart but I don’t show it, show it

Then there’s times you look at me

As though I’m all that you can see

Those times I don’t believe it’s right I know it, know it

Don’t make me promises dear you never did know how to keep them well

I had the rest of you now I want the best of you it’s time to show and tell

Cuz I want it all

Or nothing at all

There’s nowhere left to fall

When you reach the bottom it’s now or never

Is it all

Or are we just friends

Is this how it ends

With a simple telephone call

You leave me here with nothing at all

Cuz you and I

Could lose it all if you’ve got no more room

No more inside for me in your life

Cuz I want it all

Or Nothing at all

There’s nowhere left to fall

It’s now or never

Is it all

Or nothing at all

When you reach the bottom it’s now or never

LOL I was bored today just I started to browse my friend’s myspace profile including their friend’s profile (I am too getting jealous of someone adding girls with bigger boobs than me! He needs to be taught some lesson LOL). I stumble on one of the page which actually features this super kawaii voice, couldn’t help it, I straight away added the song into my myspace profile. LOL this voice can be really annoying and it didn’t really match my profile layout but heck! I didn’t care, I just find it so funny and cute and best If I could get this song and made it as maybe my ringtone or what-so-ever to annoy the hell out of someone LOL It would be nice to see him jumping on his feet for once LOL

Oh does anyone have any idea what is the song being played on 8TV as their ad song during the October month, it sounded like a kid (which happen to sound like my profile song) singing in German – ‘Whi sno snoppy snoppy snoppy snop’ (er.. I dono german la~)

Its annoying but hahaha I like it in a annoying way LOL anyone have any clue just let me know ya I want to download it and LOL play it to my bro to make his life more miserable LOL

*I am evil* Hahahahahaha